The past few years have been really interesting and really hard. Sometimes I feel like I am suffering from imposter syndrome. I see others who are further along than I am. I have been trying to really hold it all together. Also to top it right on off, even though I have been coding for years with HTML and CSS…when it comes to other programming languages I feel like a complete and sometimes lost newbie.
In the past five years, I have had quite a few family members pass away. Just last year my dad passed away after a long illness. I left my job to take care of him the last two years of his life. I know I need to trust divine timing, but it has really been a struggle dealing with not being where I want to be.
Then I had to come to terms with the fact that I was running out of opportunities in the industry I have wanted to work in since I was 3 years old watching Fashion Television and playing in my mom’s closet. After 10 plus years in fashion, I realize that it is time to pivot.
Now I am moving to tech and it is taking me a lot longer than I want. I know everything works in divine timing. I have always been a late bloomer. Things will be ok, but sometimes I wish I could gain the knowledge I need for a career in tech faster. Anyway slow and steady wins the race, so I am taking my time and learning to be patient.
Impostor syndrome (also known as impostor phenomenon, impostorism, fraud syndrome or the impostor experience) is a psychological pattern in which an individual doubts their accomplishments and has a persistent internalized fear of being exposed as a “fraud”.[Wikipedia
So this is where the imposter syndrome comes in. I try to have it together, but I don’t. Sometimes I feel like I am on the right path, and sometimes I feel like I am going nowhere fast. I feel like a fraud. I know I’m not a fraud, and I know that perseverance really is the key.
I am still working on being in the present and working on my skills so that I can get the job and career that I want. Learning to lead into divine timing has been more than a notion, but I am working through it. How do you all deal with imposter syndrome?
Photo from Moyo Studio.